


Prize Before the Contest

by GretchenSinister



Category: Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-18 14:53:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21929272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GretchenSinister/pseuds/GretchenSinister
Summary: Original Prompt: "Pure, unadulterated CRACK and HUMOR!Jack and Pitch have been seeing each other for years now, and Jack thinks its time they come out and tell the other Guardians. Of course, Pitch outright refuses. Its not like he can just come out and say “Yes, I’ve been snogging and molesting your precious Frost here for the better part of a few years now, is that okay?”No…just…no…So Jack makes him a deal. If Pitch can successfully prank all of the Guardians without getting caught, he doesn’t tell them. However, if Pitch fails…well, they not only come out and tell them, but Pitch has to bottom that night...[cut for length]"This is what you give me to work with?/Well honey, I’ve seen worse(I do apologize if this is your prompt, but seriously there’s a lot here to unpack, which I won’t be doing in this space.)Jack proposes the above prank war because he wants to tell the Guardians about their relationship. Pitch thinks one of his conditions is weird, so suggests that Jack can just fuck him now. Unfortunately this doesn’t totally distract Jack from the idea of telling the Guardians. Also…Pitch has a…wide range of exes, let’s say.
Relationships: Jack Frost/Pitch Black
Kudos: 30
Collections: Blackice Short Fics





	Prize Before the Contest

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr on 5/11/2016.
> 
> Here's the rest of the prompt: "Too bad Jack never counted on Pitch being such a monster when it comes to pranks. Who knew?
> 
> (examples of pranks - Pitch pants Bunny’s eggs black and Bunny himself pink, dumps seashells in Sandy’s sand, dyes Tooth’s fairies yellow like canaries, glues North’s elves to the yeties, dyes North’s beard pink, or replaces his xmas stuff with Halloween stuff, etc)
> 
> And of course, Jack gets ALL the blame when all this happens. And he is just SHOCKED by how good Pitch got them, before he realizes how ridiculous they all look and bursts out laughing. Cue Guardians being so confused. Up until they later find little notes in their domains saying,
> 
> “Payback is a Pitch.”
> 
> Sad to say they all eventually do find out Pitch is with Jack, so he’s gotta bottom for the night.
> 
> Eh, it was worth it.
> 
> +++ if filler uses any of the mentioned pranks.  
> ++++++ SMUT~!  
> +++++++++++ Pitch comes forward of his own free will and claims said pranks while everyone gangs up on Jack for pranking them.  
> +++++++++++++++++++ use the ‘payback is a Pitch’ gag.  
> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++for Pitch acting all nonchalant about his pranking prowess.  
> ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Pitch’s capability of pranking turns Jack on."

“And,” Jack said, grinning at Pitch’s increasingly annoyed expression, “if you do get caught doing all these pranks, not only do we go tell the Guardians that we’re together, but you have to bottom the night after we do so.”  
  
“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again,” Pitch said. “There is literally no way that the Guardians don’t already know about us. There’s psychic leakage between all of you once you take that oath, and I wouldn’t rely on you to keep a surprise birthday party a secret.”  
  
“Okay, but there’s a difference between a secret relationship that everyone knows about and a relationship that everyone has been told about,” Jack said.  
  
Pitch laughed, though Jack hadn’t really been going for that right now. “Jack, believe me,” Pitch said. “I know all about that. You might be surprised by how much I know about that. But the fact remains. I don’t want to tell the Guardians about our relationship because I can only see it leading to endless headaches and complications. And you won’t get me to agree to this bet. I don’t prank people, and if I get caught after my attempts, how on earth would that make the Guardians more sympathetic to us? And, well. I know you’re young, and you’ve been around for a rather strange time in human history, but we need to have a talk about the implications of the second half of your conditions. And perhaps about actually asking for what you want.” Pitch leaned back against the wall of his lair. “Anyway, if you really want to fuck me, we can do that right now.”  
  
Jack opened his mouth to speak, but, astonishingly, didn’t say anything. Pitch smiled. That was no doubt for the best. If Jack had started to go into reasons why he thought he had to go to such ridiculous lengths as a bet on pranks in order for Pitch to agree to be penetrated, then Pitch would have to address a lot of nonsense that he just didn’t feel like going into right now. Much as it might be amusing to see the look on Jack’s face when he began the conversation… _“I’m older than recorded history and I’ve been capable of having an ass for most of that time. And that’s plenty enough time to try almost everything. And learn to enjoy almost everything. What on earth could make you think that taking a slightly cooler than usual, human-style cock up my ass would be something I made a big deal about? Especially when it’s being wielded by someone who seems to actually like me and is, in fact, the Guardian of all fun.”_  
  
Yes, the look on Jack’s face would probably be quite something. But for now…  
  
Pitch beckoned Jack forward, and Jack obeyed. As soon as he was close enough to embrace, Pitch wrapped his arms around him, and tipped them both back through the shadows.  
  


* * *

  
  
Jack wasted no time in pulling Pitch close for a kiss as soon as they had moved from under Pitch’s bed to on top of it. Pitch opened his mouth for whatever Jack wished to do with his tongue, and let his clothes flow off into the shadows. If he had one rule for himself in the bedroom after all his millennia, it was that if he wanted to get laid, there was no point in making anything more difficult than necessary, especially when all involved parties were already in the bed.  
  
Jack made a small sound of surprise to find Pitch’s skin bare already—he must simply have never been paying attention to know that Pitch always did this, even as he took Jack’s clothes off, at other times. “Don’t be shy, now,” Pitch said, sliding his spindly fingers under Jack’s sweatshirt.  
  
“Are you trying to make me nervous enough that I agree that our usual way is better?” Jack asked.  
  
“I’m hurt,” Pitch said. He focused for a moment and reached out into the shadows. When his hand returned to the room, it held a plastic bottle. “If I wanted to make you nervous, you would know it. What I want now is entirely different. Now, are you going to take your clothes off?”  
  
Jack scrambled out of his clothes—it was odd how he lost his gracefulness at moments like this—and when they had been thrown to some corner of the room he turned to find Pitch with his long legs spread, lightly stroking his cock with one hand, and offering Jack a bottle of lube with the other.  
  
“I thought you might like to stretch me out yourself,” Pitch said.  
  
“Um—yes! I mean.” Jack paused for a moment, biting one of his knuckles and slowly looking over Pitch. “What about some foreplay, you know?”  
  
“Well, you know your body best,” Pitch said, stretching languorously. He smiled a little when he saw Jack’s eyes widen. “But from what I know of it and where I’m lying, I think mid-play might be a term that makes more sense. Come on, Jack,” he said. “I didn’t think you’d want to be a tease, now.”  
  
Jack gulped and took the bottle from Pitch’s hand. “No, definitely not.”  
  


* * *

  
  
Pitch couldn’t quite relax and let Jack do all the work, given his inexperience—even if he was the Guardian of Fun—but the direction he did give Jack paid off wonderfully, as Jack was easily guided into a rhythm and angle that soon had Pitch arching his back through an inhuman curve and calling out Jack’s name as he came.  
  
With hardly any more vocal encouragement than that, there wasn’t long to wait before Jack, too, was gasping a shuddering breath as his second orgasm gripped him.  
  
After he withdrew, Jack yawned hugely and flopped down next to Pitch, who was equally, if not as dramatically, ready to fall asleep.  
  
Surely Jack would drop his silly prank war idea now. Perhaps he’d already forgotten about it. Pitch turned and curled around Jack, his eyelids heavy. Peaceful dreams weren’t something he could hope for without ambivalence, especially considering what he’d just been up to, but—  
  
“I still want to tell the Guardians about our relationship,” Jack said quietly, interrupting his train of thought.  
  
Pitch groaned and pressed his nose against the back of Jack’s head. “I’m not doing any pranks.”  
  
“Excuse me for wanting it to not be so serious.” Jack paused. “But it probably is going to be, anyway.”  
  
Pitch sighed. “It’s going to be complicated. I had hoped you forgot all about the pranks and telling anyone and…well, everything to do with that idea…”  
  
“Maybe if you had given me oral,” Jack said.  
  
“Brought low again by my desire to get fucked,” Pitch muttered.  
  
“I have a vague idea that some of your defeats were due to entirely different reasons.”  
  
Pitch laughed a little. “Well, probably.” He sighed. “Can we wait, though, for an opportune time to tell them, if you’re so insistent on it? It…”  
  
“It will be difficult, I know,” Jack said. “What with us being on opposite sides, technically.”  
  
Pitch hummed. “It will be difficult. But maybe not for that reason.”  
  
“Well, tell me about it when I’m more awake. For now…I dunno, I’ll assume you have a boatload of dangerous exes or something, and that’ll make the Guardians worry.”  
  
Pitch didn’t say anything. Jack at least could be fooled by fake sleep. But, oh. This was going to get weird. He breathed deeply against Jack’s lovely cool form. But still worth it.  
  
But then, he always thought it was worth it in moments like this.

**Author's Note:**

> Tags and Comments from Tumblr:
> 
> #does Pitch really strike anyone as a man who would refuse to be penetrated?#honestly now
> 
> bowlingforgerbils said: once again, you took a messy prompt and made something lovely from it. I like how you tied Jack’s desire for pranking as a way to make their relationship reveal not as serious.


End file.
